it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
pray to the hookup gods
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
