Will you blow on my dice?
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
