OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
