I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
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He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
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I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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