Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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