the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
