he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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