I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
