is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
