I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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