Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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