so explain again why im purple
no
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
this must be what syphilis tastes like
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
