i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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