you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
