happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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