Your mouth is God's brothel.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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