Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
