do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.