Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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