What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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