Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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