Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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