if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
