still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I believe in your delicious
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
