yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Randomize
