How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
