Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
accomplished twins. life is a go
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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