I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm passing your future prison.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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