I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
