I'm sorry my penis didn't work
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize