i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
