That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
