You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
