Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
