Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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