You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
