did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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