Buhtt sex?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
