Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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