Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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