I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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