Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
