hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
