Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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