We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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