no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
