just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
