Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
