I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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