Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we're making bets on your personal life
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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