We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize