I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
