I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
