i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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