I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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