my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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