i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
