omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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