What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Still dying that you shit outside
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
