Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
