I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
